Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Out on Parole

I did something very foolish this past month. It’s a foolish thing to do no matter where you live, but it is especially foolish if you live in Britain: I let the weather get to me.

We have had (correction: we are having) the worst spring in 50 years. We enjoyed more agreeable weather during the winter months than we have had since March arrived. Aside from a single day off for good behavior, I have been a virtual prisoner for over a month, but only because I thought I could out-smart Mother Nature.

When spring auditioned on the 4th of March, I was well ready for it. So, when—two days later—winter dragged her off stage and, once again, hogged the spotlight, it put me in a right funk. The wind, the snow, the rain, the bitter cold, the grey skies—it was all too much, and I vowed not to go outside until the nice weather returned. How long could it be, I reasoned, it’s almost April, nice weather is just around the corner. So I sat and waited.

Thirty-one days later (barring the aforementioned sunny, but chilly, 19th of March) I was still inside, looking outside, growing more depressed every day. Then, this past weekend, spring poked her head up and made another game attempt at busting out all over. It was a nice weekend—we even got up to London for the day and it was grand—but Monday found me back inside, looking out at the rain and obsessively checking the weather forecasts, which promised rain, rain, rain and then more rain.

So I complained to my wife, who offered no sympathy and, instead, observed, “What did you expect? You live in Britain. If you wait for nice weather, you’re never going to go anywhere.”

I thought about her words and decided there was wisdom in them. So this morning I put on my wellies, struggled into a fleece coat and my waterproof jacket and—armed with an ordinance survey map—set out for one of my favorite pubs, in a town some five miles away. (I also, fortunately, grabbed a wooly hat on the way out; half a mile into the walk I put the wooly hat on and wished I had thought to bring gloves.)

Two hours and 11,000 steps later (I have a pedometer; wouldn’t I just) I am here, sitting in the canopied area of the beer garden, listening to the rain tapping on the roof, enjoying a nice pint and a cigar.

Not so bad, after all.
The walk was not as pleasant as it would have been on a summer afternoon, but it was certainly invigorating; there is something about walking in inclement weather that makes you feel energized, and just a bit smug. And the weather turned out to be not all that bad. It rained off and on, and was windy, but much of the pathways were sheltered by trees so, occasionally, the climate managed to skate up to the border of “pleasant.”

Good thing I wore my wellies.
One of the hazards of hiking in Sussex, though it does keep the walk interesting.
It was also a treat to find myself—in one of the most crowded locations in Europe—quite suddenly and totally alone. New York state has a population density of 413 people per sq. mile (for the continental US, it is 89), whereas West Sussex boasts 1,101 per sq. mile, yet soon after I left the edge of town, I entered a seemingly uninhabited wilderness.

That brown smudge near the end of the road is a deer.
There is also something satisfying about arriving at a destination under your own power. That first sip of beer is nowhere near as refreshing (or welcome) if you have arrived at the pub after a five-minute drive compared to, say, a two-hour walk. And it is exponentially satisfying when that pub has been around for a few hundred years, and realizing that the fireplace, the beams, the walls (well, some of them, anyway) were there to be enjoyed, leaned on and/or pissed against when Shakespeare was a boy. It makes me feel—interloper though I am—part of a continuum, as if I am a participant in something bigger than myself.

Abandoned nest of the Sussex Stealth Spider--we grow 'em big here, bucko!
And if I can enjoy all of this while smoking a fine cigar and sipping a pint of authentic ale sheltered under a canopy that affords a view of a picturesque country pub garden and the opportunity to watch rain falling on something other than myself, then life is very good, indeed.

Now, if I can just find my way back home, this will have been a good day.


  1. I hope you got the bus back, that's one heck of a trek in wellies.

  2. Good on you, Mike! As they say, there is no bad weather in England, only inappropriate clothing.

    Maybe see you soon,

    1. Yes, bring an umbrella! And I hope we have some good weather for you. And, of course, if you are down Sussex way, give a shout!

  3. I might have enjoyed walking that route except for the mud and chances of falling down. Nice seeing the deer though.

    Anyway, is Rachel Davenport available on Amazon Kindle? I have discovered that I can read a book on my computer easily while holding a book for any length of time is painful.

    1. There are many nice walking trails here, and not all of them feature mud, slippery inclines and crossing 4-lane highways ;) and many of those feature deer.

      My book, thanks for asking, now I can spam my own comments ;)

      Finding Rachel Davenport is, indeed, available for Kindle, and you can--as you seem to have discovered--download Kindle for PC FREE from Amazon. That's how I started out (the first one is always free).

      Anyway, the price has already dropped, so you can get it at the discount price:

      Amazon US:

      Amazon UK:

      Sorry about the condensed URLS, but the full-sized ones are very, very long.

  4. Mrs Baum11:46 PM

    You could always consider getting a dog, as then you have to get out for a walk every day. As long as you can find pubs where dogs are welcome! And dog walkers are generally sociable.

    On one of our walks, there's a group of old guys and their dogs who meet up at a certain bench every day and pass the next few hours smoking and chatting to each other and the rest of us that pass by. They always make me think of the Simon and Garfunkel song.

    Then again, walks are less enjoyable when you have to do them, I think. This week I have finally progressed out of wellies and into walking boots, so there is hope! AND I started on the job of taming the front garden today. The daffodils are finally almost out up here, so maybe this winter's finally over - please?!

    1. I had a dog in the States. You have to walk them. That sounds like work ;) Once spring arrives (fingers crossed) the bike will get a proper work out.